Constitutional Amendments and Bathroom Etiquette - Yes, I went there!

This is a topic that someone needs to broach so I going to take one for the team, ladies. 

Some men might even have my back on this one. 

I am not sure how many signatures it will require to pass a Constitutional amendment but that may be what is necessary to have across the board compliance. 

I am talking about public restroom sounds and etiquette required by them and how we can avoid the embarrassment these issues cause people everyday. 

For the sake of all of us, please join my cause. 

How many times have you had to rush into a public restroom for an "emergency" stop? 

Only to be confronted with a room full of people chatting on their phones,

lined up at the mirrors checking their make up or just standing around waiting for little Betsy to finish her business?


Have you dreaded the moment that all sound stops after you have entered your little cubicle and the evacuation has begun.

"If I could have made it home, don't you think I would have." 

Is that something you wish you could say to the person you hear gasp with shock at the first sputtering splash? 

But are you too busy trying to waving your hands to make the damn self flushing toilet flush to cover the sounds you know are coming next?

I have also suffered from that seated dance of shame. 

The multiple flush send away is a give away.  

There needs to be a law!  

Put some speakers in there.

Play some music. LOUDLY! 

I think there has been a government study done somewhere telling us what kinds of music is best suited for us to evacuate with.  

Truthfully, I don't care what they play. It could be this for all I cared....

We next need to address the issue of the people who are responsible for cleaning the restrooms.

These people are hardworking individuals and they have a thankless job. 

I hate cleaning my bathroom at home. The idea of having to clean up after strangers is not something I want to consider. 

But please don't try to be extra helpful when you are in the middle of cleaning up and I walk in. 

I"ll wait.

I  feel bad enough in a public restroom. 

Having you stop working so I can dirty up what you are cleaning is not something I want to happen. 

Oh, while I really appreciate the extra step you went to when you came and found me to let me know you were finished cleaning

the toilets, I was super uncomfortable that you hung around until I was done.

Having you standing there, alone in the silent bathroom, waiting for me to "go" was my least favorite potty memory since I was three. 

I locked myself in and needed helping wiping. It was a problem of first world order. 

This time I just had to leave and rush home.

So people maybe we need to add extra rules to our Constitutional Amendment. 

Won't you join me on my mission? 

Does anyone know a lawyer who can help me out with this? 

I think I need to write to Oprah first, right? 

Or is it Ellen now? 

photoattributes

1.http://www.clker.com/cliparts/5/8/e/e/1333837644869972671constitution.jpg
2.http://www.illustrationsof.com/royalty-free-rf-restroom-clipart-illustration-by-ron-leishman-stock-sample-435509.jpg
3.http://previews.123rf.com/images/leremy/leremy1111/leremy111100017/11102672-bad-wrong-behaviour-habit-lifestyle-pictogram-man-toilet.jpg
4.http://www.picturesof.net/_images_300/A_Self_Cleaning_Toilet_Royalty_Free_Clipart_Picture_090105-223470-615009.jpg
5.http://www.nappyhead.co.uk/acatalog/wipemybutt-LS.gif
6.http://photos.ellen.warnerbros.com/gallery-images/2009/11/IMG_0916r_full.jpg
7.http://www.americanstandard-us.com/assets/images/productImages/amstd/alternates/standard/2030.prd.s.alt.004.jpg
8.http://www.theswanbourneendeavour.co.uk/images/TSE-mud-splat-para.jpg
9.http://st.rfclipart.com/image/big/17-37-fc/funny-restroom-wc-sign-Download-Royalty-free-Vector-File-EPS-63434.jpg