Our Thanksgiving Failure Dinner..What a Disaster!!!

We Wanted A  Big Family Event

When our kids were growing up they never saw a true big family gathering. They grew up as kids of divorce so they were shuttled back and forth between households. 

This year my husband and I are finally in our own home. We have all but one of our five blended family kids nearby. 

We wanted a family holiday. 

An old fashioned family dinner. 

The kind each of us had growing up.

We invited the one living parent. 

All siblings nearby. 

All adult children and partners (except one, but that is another blog)

All grandchildren, nieces, nephews.

Mr.Snarky planned to do all the cooking with me as assistant. 

Do you see where this is heading? I thought I did. 

Especially since my youngest was announcing her pregnancy to everyone! 

And my middle was also introducing his pregnant girl to those that had not met her yet. 

And our newest granddaughter and her mother was meeting some family members for the first time. 

Blended family fun! 

I figured that there would be fireworks for sure. 

I know that my good old fashioned family dinners always included some yelling. 

Aunt Mary was mad at nephew Drew because he never thanked her for his high school graduation card five years ago. 

Cousin Susan was mad at her mom because she gave the family pie recipe to her sister and not her.

Mr.Snarky's family was the same.

But the only yelling going on in my house was at and by the small children.  

What did I do wrong? How did I fail by family? 

Would my adult kids never know the reality of families screaming at each other over dry turkey and creamy mashed potatoes?

Would they be sent out into the world unaware of what could happen between pass the cranberry sauce and Uncle Joe making a pass at cousin Joan? In full view of his wife, Aunt Martha?

Would they go to other people's family dinners and expect to hear  laughter and pleasant conversation? 

Or maybe we did something right, my husband and I. Maybe we managed to teach our kids something that our parents families had never learned. 

That family gatherings are about the family gathering. Together. 

They talked. People who rarely see each other and even less often interact, talked together. They may not meet for coffee next week, but who cares. 

They laughed. Everyone passed the new baby around and marveled over how much she looked like her dad. He was the only one missing. (Still away at school)

Mr.Snarky cooked and then before I had finished taking everything out of the oven he called for the buffet line to start. WTH?

I then spent ten minutes scrambling to find spoons and pot holders for food I was frantically pulling out to feed the twenty plus people lined up behind me.  

Apparently once the turkey is sliced that is go time! 

The only one unhappy was Mr. Snarky who said his turkeys (there were two) were too dry. (They were but we didn't care).

The biggest disaster was when he dumped the stock to make the gravy down the drain. He managed to save a little bit but there was no leftover gravy and it didn't have enough Ooomph! 

But the family dinner? We all ate it. It tasted great. It was a success. 

I hope that we have lots more of this style of family gatherings. I like them. 

We forgot to put out the cranberry sauce.

I still have s load of i t left! You want some? Its delish! 

Lady Justice is Supposed to be Blind But this is F%@ing Nuts.

I started a post last week to cover the Michael Brown / Darren Wilson non-indictment but was interrupted by drama in my own life. 

Then the Eric Garner case walked back into national focus. 

And apparently the New York grand jury members were unable to see what the rest of the world including the New York City Medical Examiner saw. 

That this was and is a homicide.

Which is exactly why it was ruled that way. 

Does anyone not think that if the Medical Examiner's office could have ruled any other way, they would have done so and saved the city this whole issue?

They ruled with integrity.

The Grand Jury failed. 

I am not saying that the police officer is guilty. This is not for me to say. A jury of his peers would have to determine that. 

But because the Grand Jury decided against indictment, Daniel Pantaleo will never face that type of jury in New York City. 


The Grand Jury failed by not giving its citizens that option.

Shame on them.

Officer Pantaleo offered a statement of prayers and condolences from his family to Mr. Garners. They were rejected, seemingly out of hand. 

Good for him for at least trying. 

The case of Michael Brown is a different issue. 

Based on the autopsy reports,  reliable witnesses and evidence, Darren Wilson should not have been indicted. 

I believe that the Grand Jury in Ferguson did their job.

But in New York......

WOW! Just what the hell happened?

I don't think that Officer Pantaleo or the other officers intended for his death to occur, but it did. They over reacted.

Yeah, he did not comply to their requests. But he wasn't threatening citizens of their city. He was standing on the sidewalk.

Patience is a virtue. NYPD needs to find some.

I can't imagine how many muggings happened while the multiple cops were arresting one man for allegedly selling cigarettes.

Can we talk about a better use of police assets. 

Did Eric Garner deserve to be arrested and charged with a crime? 

I don't know. 

They found no evidence on him. What is his history? He claimed they had been harassing him. Were they? He was supposedly on bail for selling untaxed cigarettes. Why arrest him again?    

But he did not deserve to be wrestled to the ground by a multitude of police officers and have a banned chokehold used on him. 

He did not deserve anything that happened.

Should he have simply submitted and let himself be arrested? 

I don't know. 

There it is. 

The question I cannot answer because I am not Eric Garner. I am not an African American male. I cannot begin to put myself in that place. 

But what I do know is this:


If he had not resisted he likely would be alive today, planning what gifts to buy his children,grandchildren and wife for Christmas. 

He would have enjoyed the costumes and candy of Halloween. He looked like he might enjoy a good candy bar or two.

He would have had turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie while sharing what he was thankful for last week. With six kids he had a lot to be grateful about.

Instead on July 17, 2014, an altercation occurred between him and the police. 

Nobody won. 

I watch the video and I cannot see how the Grand Jury did not see the same things I did. 

A man died. 

An indictment should have been handed out. It is clear that the system failed. 

It is clear that we must have a new system.

One where people of any color should not fear the police talking to them.

One where only the guilty need worry about bullets paid for by our own tax dollars.

One where color, nationality, sexuality, gender do not matter. 

One where justice is NOT BLIND to doing what is right.

But I am obviously fucking nuts to believe this will happen. 

I know the current chant is "Black Lives Matter" 

But for me it should be 

"ALL LIVES MATTER"

Because they do, equally!