I asked for them, I swear I did.....What was I thinking? Snarky Momma Past & Present

During the time I was raising my kids, particularly my boys, I could frequently be heard to mutter to myself something that soon became my mantra,

"I ASKED FOR THEM, WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Don't get me wrong, my kids were and are great. But I had two boys thirteen months apart and I started raising them alone when they were two and three. 

The term WILD CHILDREN should have my boys pictures next to it. I would Google it and try to find a fitting image to put up here, but I am truthfully afraid an old photo of my kids will show up.

For now just imagine a couple of boys like this. 

No, not the cute one in the middle. But the two on the edges of the picture. There is one who stomps through life and manages to knock over EVERYTHING  he passes by, even paper on someones desk. And his little brother, the climbing baby, who is able to scamper up onto the top of ANYTHING that has the slightest grip.

A friend once told me she didn't understand what the expression "bouncing off the walls" meant until she was introduced to my sons. 

They were not hyperactive. I had them tested. They were just ACTIVE. VERY,VERY ACTIVE !

They had plenty of outdoor time. I promise. I kicked them outside every chance I got. 

Go play in the yard, I'd say. 

We had a perfectly safe, HUGE metal satellite dish for them to climb on in the back yard. I mean sure, it had a few rough spots, but I covered those with duct tape. 

That was okay, right? Nope. Guess not. 

I had asked for them. It was my responsibility to protect them. 

Then there was the couch jumping. As soon as we came home. Me from work, them from my parents house. 

They would start jumping on the couch yelling and wanting me to play with them. 

Can you imagine? I just worked ten hours and they want my attention. Where did they get the idea I had any energy left? But I did it. And loved it. Because I loved them.

I had asked for them. It was my joy to play with them.

Then there were the demands that I feed them. 

Constantly. I swear, I never knew that two small boys could eat that much food. During the weekends, I would no sooner finish cleaning up one meal, when they would be asking for more food. WHERE do they put it? But that was nothing compared to what they put me through as teenagers. Heaven help me. I once went to

and spent $40 on dollar items to feed them and a few of their friends after work. It was gone before I finished changing out of my work clothes. They were like hyenas, except they knew how to say please and thank you. Which I insisted all their friends learn to use, if they didn't know how already. Even if I hadn't given birth to them, I had asked for them. So I was going to provide for them. And teach them along the way. 

So while I spent a lot of time muttering to myself and have lots of stories buried in my brain about my boys and their just as troublesome baby sister, I did ask for them. Especially my daughter. I loved my boys to distraction, but I really wanted a girl and when I discovered I was unexpectedly "expecting" I wished that I would have my girl. 

Wish granted. Really, just what was I thinking? 

I will admit there have been moments, when I asked myself if I was totally crazy for ever wanting a daughter,

but then I remember what a great child she was and I know she will overcome the difficulties in her life and I remind myself.....I asked for them, especially her. So I must have been given her for some karmic reason. Some parents, we get the children we need. Sometimes we get the children that need us. I am still not sure which of us got which. But I love them all.

I asked for them. And I am damned glad I did.